depression is a signal —
not a life sentence.
Depression isn’t an emotion — it’s a state of disconnection.
It’s What Happens When the Nervous System Shuts Down.
Depression is a nervous system state, not a personality flaw. It’s the body slipping into chronic hypo-arousal — collapse, shut down, emotional numbness, disconnect.
You may feel:
Low motivation or “stuckness”
Flatness or numbness that lingers
Heavy, exhausted, “moving through mud”
Irritable or withdrawn
Disconnected from others
Unable to access joy, aliveness, or grief
This isn’t weakness. It’s your body protecting you the only way it knows how.
Our work is to re-energize the system, mobilize the body, and reopen the window of tolerance so your full emotional life can return.
The emotional hygiene perspective
Depression = Anger Turned Inward
Many depressed men don’t look angry — but internally they’re being attacked by a merciless inner judge.
When there’s:
No boundary with your inner critic
No space to feel healthy anger outwardly
No permission to assert your needs
…that emotional energy collapses inward. You shut down. You lose vitality.
Therapy helps you:
Learn to set boundaries with the inner judge
Redirect anger where it truly belongs
Rebuild a healthy, empowered relationship with your emotional life
Uncover the old trauma or conditioning where self-directed anger began
When anger isn’t weaponized against you, the system unlocks.
And beneath that locked anger is the river that’s been dammed up for years:
Grief. Sadness. Tenderness. Humanity.
Depression Is Often Unprocessed Grief
Most depressed men aren’t overwhelmed by emotion — they’re cut off from the grief that needs expression.
We work to:
Melt what’s frozen
Let grief move without drowning you
Reconnect you with the parts of you that were never held, protected, or nurtured
Anger is the gatekeeper. Once you reclaim it, you get access to everything underneath.
Isolation Is Fueling Your Depression
You can’t heal depression alone — because depression itself is a state of aloneness.
When I ask men who first reach out to me if they have any kind of support system, I often hear things like:
“Yeah, I have a support system — my wife.”
or
“I can talk to my mother sometimes.”
That’s not a support system. That’s two people. Both women. Often overburdened.
Sometimes I’ll hear:
“I have a few old buddies I catch up with now and then.”
That’s not a support system either.
We are built to live in tribes, to have:
Deep male friendships
Brotherhood
Mentorship
Community
Touch
Shared struggle and shared celebration
Most men are far too isolated. Their bodies are starving for connection, physical presence, and relational nourishment. Depression is often a symptom of this starvation. So is pornography addiction. The two often go hand in hand.
This is why my work often includes men’s groups. Community-building is a core part of the healing process.
Depression Can Be a Signal That Something in Your Life Isn’t Working
Depression isn’t just a “chemical imbalance.” Often it’s your own inner guidance saying:
This job is killing you.
This relationship is draining you.
This lifestyle isn’t aligned with who you truly are.
You're living smaller than your potential.
Part of therapy is listening to depression as information, not pathology.
Your system is trying to tell you something. We’ll decipher it together.
Re-Parenting & Self-Nurturing skills
Many depressed men grew up without enough healthy mothering — not enough warmth, soothing, comfort, nurturance, or emotional presence.
When those needs go unmet:
You don’t learn how to self-soothe
You struggle to receive care
You collapse instead of reaching out
Re-parenting is about re-establishing the capacity to:
Be nurtured
Be supported
Be emotionally held
Give yourself what you never received
It isn’t “going back to childhood.” It’s learning the adult versions of the parenting you didn’t get — so your nervous system can finally relax and rebuild strength.
My Approach to Depression
Nervous System Work
Mobilizing the body, increasing energy and aliveness, awakening from chronic shut-down.
Emotional Hygiene
Setting boundaries with the inner critic. Reclaiming healthy anger. Clearing old resentments. Developing more emotional awareness and vocabulary to effectively communicate your feelings to others.
Grief + Anger Integration
Unlocking sadness, tears, tenderness — to finally let go of the past and move on from your losses.
Trauma & Parts Work
Identifying the history behind the self-judgment and shame patterns.
Relational Reconnection
Repairing isolation. Developing supportive relationships with other men. Expanding your tribe.
Re-parenting & Attachment Repair
Nurturance. Soothing. Protection. Emotional availability. Learning to receive and give care.
Life Alignment
Addressing career, relationship, and lifestyle misalignment that depression may be signaling.
Practical Daily Rituals
Breath, movement, regulation strategies, emotional clearing, structure, and environmental adjustments.
depression is a temporary survival strategy, not who you are.
frequently asked questions
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A blend of nervous system work, emotional process, relational repair, somatic strategies, and deeper identity clarity. We go slow, but we go deep.
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We work with your body, your relational patterns, your energy, your anger, your grief, your history, and your current life alignment. Not just your thoughts. Read more about my method here.
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Some clients do individual therapy only. Many add a men’s group because depression often thrives in isolation. Group accelerates connection, vitality, and accountability.
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Yes — but not in a way that keeps you stuck. We explore what’s necessary to heal your present-day emotional patterns and rebuild inner safety.
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Absolutely. When the nervous system reawakens, when anger and grief move, when connection increases and shame decreases — depression loosens its grip.