family therapy
Understanding the Real Problem (Why Families Seek Help)
Families are complex systems—emotionally, energetically, and psychologically interconnected. When one person begins to struggle, that distress often reflects the whole system, not just the individual.
One of the most helpful frameworks I share with families is the concept of the Identified Patient (IP)—the family member whose symptoms or behaviors become the “reason” therapy is sought. They may look like the issue, but in system-level work, they are usually the signal, not the cause.
What the “Identified Patient” Actually Means:
A symptom of the system. Their behavior may be expressing something the family hasn’t been able to talk about—old trauma, tension, unmet needs, or unresolved conflict.
A scapegoat. Attention focuses on them so the family doesn’t have to look at deeper patterns of control, communication, or avoidance.
Not necessarily the most troubled member. Often they’re the most sensitive or least defended person, carrying unprocessed emotion for the whole system.
An unconscious role. Families can unintentionally “assign” one member to hold the anxiety or pain everyone is avoiding.
Family therapy shifts the focus from one person to the relationships themselves, so change can happen where it actually matters.
My approach:
Relational, experiential, and grounded in present-moment awareness
I help families learn to slow down enough to notice what’s happening right now—emotionally, physically, and relationally. Much of the work involves learning to:
Speak from direct experience rather than analysis or blame
Listen to understand rather than react
Notice internal reactions as they arise
Identify needs underneath anger, shutdown, fear, or defensiveness
This style creates a level of real-time honesty and connection that most families simply cannot access on their own.
Communication Skills Based on Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
Without jargon, this means learning how to:
Express feelings without accusation
Share needs clearly and vulnerably
Make specific, healthy requests
Reduce escalation without collapsing or silencing yourself
It’s powerful, grounding, and immediately useful outside the therapy room.
Expressive (Core Energetics–Inspired) Work
For families who are open to deeper experiential work, I offer structured, safe ways to move stuck emotional energy—especially anger, resentment, and judgment.
These more expressive exercises are designed to help family members confront long-held emotions and conflicts without alienating each other.
This stage of family work requires significant trust among family members, as well as with me as the therapist. I don’t offer this kind of work until significant mutual trust has been established.
To learn more about Core Energetics, click here.
Who This Work Is For
Family therapy with me is a strong fit if your family:
Is willing for every member to participate actively
Is able to look at personal patterns—not just point to one person
Wants emotional awareness, healthier communication, and deeper connection
Is open to learning new relational tools and trying experiential exercises
Understands that meaningful change takes effort, honesty, and courage
Who This Work Is Not For
This approach typically does not work well if your family is:
Seeking to “fix” a single family member while others stay uninvolved
Looking for quick behavior modification rather than deeper relational healing
Hoping I’ll take sides or declare one person as the “cause”
Unwilling to examine communication patterns, control dynamics, or emotional avoidance
What You Can Expect
Through this work, families learn to:
See each other more clearly
Interrupt long-standing negative patterns
Repair ruptures with honesty and compassion
Build emotional safety
Communicate in a way that doesn’t retraumatize or shame
Create more stability and resilience in the entire system
Family therapy doesn’t aim to make everything perfect—it aims to help you relate in a healthier, more conscious way. When the system shifts, the member who has been carrying the most pain finally gets to breathe.
Important practical note
For in-person family sessions: your family must be very dog-friendly. My dog is present in the home office and typically becomes part of the conversation.
Frequently Asked Questions
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In most cases, yes. Family therapy works best when everyone is present and participating. There may be times when I meet with certain members individually or in smaller pairings, but the core of the work happens when the system is in the room together.
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Relational work requires willingness. If someone is firmly opposed, we might start with whoever is willing, but family therapy itself won’t be effective until all members are open to participating. I don’t push anyone into the process — consent and readiness matter.
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No. My work is grounded in family systems theory, which means I’m looking at patterns, dynamics, and relationships — not assigning blame. Even when one person is the “identified patient,” we explore how the entire system contributes to and is impacted by the issue.
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That’s extremely common. We’ll absolutely support that person, but we’ll also look at the broader dynamics that influence them. This isn’t about blaming the family — it’s about understanding the full context so healing is possible for everyone.
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It depends on the depth of the patterns, the level of engagement, and the goals you have. Some families see meaningful change in a few months; others benefit from a longer process. I’ll help you clarify goals so we know what we’re working toward.
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Yes, as long as everyone is willing to participate in good faith. High-conflict families can benefit immensely from structured relational tools and real-time coaching. However, if there is ongoing violence, coercion, or active abuse, a different level of intervention is needed.
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Yes, I offer family therapy both in-person and online. Virtual meetings are held through the Google Meets video platform, which can be accessed from a smartphone or a computer.
Ready to begin?
Reach out.