about paley burlin
lcpc, lmhc

serving maine & washington

Most men who find their way here aren’t looking for a soft landing. They’re looking for honesty, depth, and a chance to grow in a way that actually means something.

I don’t hand out quick fixes. I help men do the kind of inner work most people avoid because it’s uncomfortable, revealing, and transformative. You can’t have deep change without hard work.

If you want a space where you’ll be met directly — and supported in becoming someone you fully respect —

You’re ready for work that actually challenges you.

you’ve come to the right place.

Therapist sitting on coastal rocks beside the ocean, smiling with a relaxed, grounded expression.

My approach:

What if I told you that society raises men backwards?

In years of working with men, I’ve gotten a good look at how society has shaped us. We’re taught to be bullies to ourselves when we actually need to be kind, and we’re given endless excuses to turn away from hard emotional work when we really need our feet held to the fire. We lack healthy accountability and become our own worst enemies. There’s poison in the water. Ask any woman you admire and she’ll tell you the same. Women see us all too clearly.

As your therapist I will interrogate those twisted notions of masculinity you’re likely still carrying. I’ll teach you to be kinder to yourself, without settling for anything less than the best version of who you can be. I’ll give you powerful tools to heal the wounds of your past and experience deeper connection than you’ve ever known. And I won’t hide behind a mask of professionalism. I’ll take risks and be vulnerable right alongside you.

This is not a “career” for me — it’s a sacred path.

I know what it’s like to feel lost and alone, disconnected from myself, unsure of who I’m supposed to be as a man. I’ve gone through my own mess, my own healing, and the kind of work that forced me to grow up, rebuild my life, and learn what true integrity means.

I’ve revealed my darkest places, purged myself of multiple generations of toxic rage, shed childhood tears in the arms of other men. I’ve killed my addictions, danced away my shame, sat in solitude in the wilderness and remembered my inherent belonging to the Earth. I’ve turned my pain into art, and learned how to truly love being alive.

✦

Colorful painting of a figure using a paintbrush to transform dark, chaotic scenes into light and vibrant imagery.

“Paintbrush Warrior” by Mark Henson

✦

No therapist can meet you in places they haven’t gone themselves.


No one can invite you into a light that they haven’t worked hard to cultivate. I’ve sought elder wisdom from around the world, and have been blessed with some powerful teachers. My life’s calling is to share the gift of healing with others. I believe we all carry a hunger for true wisdom.

in therapy with me…

I’ll show you your blind spots.

I’ll read you like a book and tell you what I’m seeing, always with kindness but never mincing words. I’ll show you where you avoid vulnerability and sabotage connection. I’ll give you tools to re-connect with parts of yourself you abandoned decades ago.

I’ll teach you how to be more relational.

Most men are lacking in basic relational skills — I’ll teach you how to stay emotionally connected instead of living up in your head. I’ll teach you body awareness, so others can truly feel you, and you can truly feel them. I’ll give you new vocabulary to more effectively communicate your inner experience to others. I’ll also show you what it means to be relational with yourself. We can only be as intimate with others as we are with ourselves.

We’ll explore your shadow side.

That part of you that keeps fucking things up. Maybe it’s your anger. Maybe it’s impulsiveness. Maybe it’s a victim mentality. Maybe you disappear when people need you the most. Maybe you’re someone who keeps shameful secrets from those you love.

We all have demons. Our natural instinct is to try to cover them up, throw them in the closet. Until we take them out and throw light on them, get to know them as we would get to know a new member of the family, they will continue to run our lives despite our best efforts at hiding them.

Silhouette of a man’s face illuminated by a narrow beam of light in a dark room.
Dark storm clouds gathering over mountain ridges with light breaking through in the distance.

“No tree can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.”

carl jung

My background

I’ve spent over 8 years serving men at all stages of life.

My youngest client is 17 and the oldest is 81.

I bring a diversity of experience to my work as a therapist, from private practice to volunteer work in prisons, hospice organizations and suicide hotlines. I’ve served in sweat lodge ceremonies and wilderness retreats. I’ve listened to the stories of war veterans, survivors of childhood sexual trauma and abuse, children of alcoholic parents, high-achieving business executives, struggling teens, and everyone in between.

Whatever your story, I’ll hold it with you.

  • I’m trained in a variety of therapy methods, allowing me to tailor my approach to your unique goals and needs. These include:

    • The Hakomi Method

    • Core Energetics

    • Parts Work/Attachment Focus

    • Psychoeducation

    • Psychodrama/Drama Therapy

    • Relational/Here-and-Now Focus

    Click here to learn more about the methods I use.

    • BA in Philosophy from Augsburg University

    • MA in Counseling Psychology with a concentration in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of integral studies (CIIS)

    • LCPC in Maine (CC7450)

    • LMHC in Washington (LH61499324)

  • I trained for 7 years with Tim Westfeldt, one of the first students of Ron Kurtz, the founder of the Hakomi method. Through my work with Tim I also learned to integrate polyvagal theory and parts work into my practice, and became a certified coach at the Westfeldt Institute for Emotional Hygiene.

    I discovered both psychodrama and Voice Movement Therapy during my studies in graduate school, and they have become big inspirations in my work.

    I trained for 1 year in Core Energetics at the Montreal Institute for Core Energetics.

    For many years I have been training in relational work, which forms the basis of much of the therapy I offer, including my men’s groups.

    During my exploration of somatic psychology I discovered the world of therapeutic touch, including platonic cuddling as a professional service. For 3 years I worked as a platonic cuddle therapist. You can find out more about cuddling here.

If you’re ready to go deeper than surface-level coping skills, let’s talk

Click the button below to schedule a free consultation. I’ll answer your questions and we’ll discuss next steps.

begin the work