Befriending the Inner Judge

The inner judge -- that sinister internal voice of self-hatred, humiliation, and shame -- is a powerful ally of the self, though he is often seen as an enemy. I believe there comes a time in the evolution of the self when it no longer makes sense to see him as an enemy.

I see the attempt to overcome or destroy this inner voice as representative of a certain stage in the integration of the self. In this stage, it is not yet clear that the sharp sword pointed toward my own heart can quickly become a life-saving weapon when it is pointed toward whatever threatens my safety. The sword that my judge thrusts into me becomes the very thing that protects me from harm when it is directed OUTWARD. Why would I ever want to get rid of that?

My inner torturer becomes my everyday bodyguard when I find a way to befriend him and teach him that his gift for violence can be put to better use -- that he does not need to take me as his victim to get what he wants.

In order to befriend my judge I need to learn to speak his language and communicate in his terms. He is not a diplomat and he will never meet for coffee.